When I told you all my secrets
I saw the fear in your eyes
Now I miss you
Because of all my lies
I look at your faceA little dark
The memories will fade
No matter who you are
I hold inside
All the things I want to say
You don't know
What's going on today
It's kind of hard
The questions that you ask
Why don't you
Just take away your mask
Now I see
The things I missed before
You make it hard
You push against the door
Take too long
Then you run away
All that's left
Is all I have to say
05/27/09
Friday, May 29, 2009
The Best Worst Day Of My Life
I hardly eat
I never sleep
I think
I feel
I cry
I weep
We got a salute
It felt really strange
To see
To hear
To fall
And believe
To day is the best
The worst day of my life
Together it seems
I gave up with out a fight
I stared at a box
A shiny box
It had his name
Written at the top
I couldn't believe
So I had to cry
For the first time
It was in front of a friend
I just stared at the ground
I couldn't wait to leave
Thoughts in my mind
With tears falling to my feet
I want this to end
Everyone is so sad
What will be missed?
When will I be glad?
I hardly eat
I never sleep
I think
I feel
I cry
I weep
To day is the best
The worst day of my life...
05/26/09
I never sleep
I think
I feel
I cry
I weep
We got a salute
It felt really strange
To see
To hear
To fall
And believe
To day is the best
The worst day of my life
Together it seems
I gave up with out a fight
I stared at a box
A shiny box
It had his name
Written at the top
I couldn't believe
So I had to cry
For the first time
It was in front of a friend
I just stared at the ground
I couldn't wait to leave
Thoughts in my mind
With tears falling to my feet
I want this to end
Everyone is so sad
What will be missed?
When will I be glad?
I hardly eat
I never sleep
I think
I feel
I cry
I weep
To day is the best
The worst day of my life...
05/26/09
Sometimes
Sometimes I feel like I could explode heaven
Sometimes I wonder what I'm doing here
Sometimes I need you to comfort me softly
sometimes I need you to scream at me again
Sometimes I think of all the things that I've done
Sometimes I feel bad for everyone's pain
Sometimes I cause all the trouble inside you
Sometimes it looks as though I am the one to blame
Sometimes I think that I can't think at all
Sometimes I feel like I can't even feel
Sometimes my words seem to change dramatically
Sometimes it seems as though this is a way of life
So be yourself and save me
From all of my insecurities
Don't be the one to drop me
When I lose control of myself
05/26/09
Sometimes I wonder what I'm doing here
Sometimes I need you to comfort me softly
sometimes I need you to scream at me again
Sometimes I think of all the things that I've done
Sometimes I feel bad for everyone's pain
Sometimes I cause all the trouble inside you
Sometimes it looks as though I am the one to blame
Sometimes I think that I can't think at all
Sometimes I feel like I can't even feel
Sometimes my words seem to change dramatically
Sometimes it seems as though this is a way of life
So be yourself and save me
From all of my insecurities
Don't be the one to drop me
When I lose control of myself
05/26/09
Revealed To Me?
This is no lie
I have seen the devil
Out of the night
He has grabbed me
I could not move
Nor could I scream
He had me tight
Fear was deep in me
I said a prayer
Jesus fought
The devil left
only to came back with a higher cost
Those happened many times
And it will happen again
The devil wants me
But I won't give in
When my grandmother died
Jesus stood near
He put his hand on my shoulder
And I felt it...
When the devil came again
I called for Jesus
He lay on my bed with me
I could see his imprint...
I gave him a hug
Though it looked like air
I could feel his body
I knew he was there
I talk to God
Like you talk to me
HE talks to me
Like I would to them
I have heard HIS voice
HE answers when I talk
We just had a conversation yesterday
We took a long walk
HE tells me things
That I don't want to hear
Sometimes these things
Are too close too near
We argue sometimes
It's like hitting a brick wall
You'll never win
Unless God gives you the call
HE yells at me to warn
The things that I will do
Sometimes I listen
Other times I move
Why am I special?
Why is it me?
No one else hears HIM
Like I do...
Faith is to believe
Without the sight
I now only believe
Because I see
05/22/09
I have seen the devil
Out of the night
He has grabbed me
I could not move
Nor could I scream
He had me tight
Fear was deep in me
I said a prayer
Jesus fought
The devil left
only to came back with a higher cost
Those happened many times
And it will happen again
The devil wants me
But I won't give in
When my grandmother died
Jesus stood near
He put his hand on my shoulder
And I felt it...
When the devil came again
I called for Jesus
He lay on my bed with me
I could see his imprint...
I gave him a hug
Though it looked like air
I could feel his body
I knew he was there
I talk to God
Like you talk to me
HE talks to me
Like I would to them
I have heard HIS voice
HE answers when I talk
We just had a conversation yesterday
We took a long walk
HE tells me things
That I don't want to hear
Sometimes these things
Are too close too near
We argue sometimes
It's like hitting a brick wall
You'll never win
Unless God gives you the call
HE yells at me to warn
The things that I will do
Sometimes I listen
Other times I move
Why am I special?
Why is it me?
No one else hears HIM
Like I do...
Faith is to believe
Without the sight
I now only believe
Because I see
05/22/09
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Reality Of Life
I awoke from my dream
Only to find
Reality exists
From within my mind
I start to cry
A tear from my face
Seeing her once more
Could offer no safe
It’s hard to think
A man like myself
I’ve never forgiven
I just sit on the shelf
How could this be?
Many years have gone by
Everyday is the same
I can’t help but wonder why?
If I say I’m sorry
What will that fix?
Another head ache
The pills won’t kick
Does she believe?
Is there meaning to this?
Problems arise
Chances are missed
The brightness of silver
The coldness of black
Places in my memory
I never want to go back
To sleep I will cry
I will never forgive
For things I have done
Why should I live?
03/28/09
Only to find
Reality exists
From within my mind
I start to cry
A tear from my face
Seeing her once more
Could offer no safe
It’s hard to think
A man like myself
I’ve never forgiven
I just sit on the shelf
How could this be?
Many years have gone by
Everyday is the same
I can’t help but wonder why?
If I say I’m sorry
What will that fix?
Another head ache
The pills won’t kick
Does she believe?
Is there meaning to this?
Problems arise
Chances are missed
The brightness of silver
The coldness of black
Places in my memory
I never want to go back
To sleep I will cry
I will never forgive
For things I have done
Why should I live?
03/28/09
It's Only A Number
I have this emotion
Buried in me
I think I feel a five
When in reality it’s a ten
Confusion stets in
I have to look happy
Sometimes it’s hard
I don’t want to begin
The first song I hear
One that is sad
About the same situation
It’s calling my fear
I want to write
Poems of joy
I’m usually colorful
but today is no joke
I sit in my tears
Wish they could go away
So I can move on
A time full of better days
Everyone has pain
This I know
My pain is different
It has no name
It’s hard to solve
A problem you can’t figure out
So I sit in the dark
And I don’t ask for help
I don’t see any closure
To this poem
So now I will close
Full of exposure
5/20/09
Buried in me
I think I feel a five
When in reality it’s a ten
Confusion stets in
I have to look happy
Sometimes it’s hard
I don’t want to begin
The first song I hear
One that is sad
About the same situation
It’s calling my fear
I want to write
Poems of joy
I’m usually colorful
but today is no joke
I sit in my tears
Wish they could go away
So I can move on
A time full of better days
Everyone has pain
This I know
My pain is different
It has no name
It’s hard to solve
A problem you can’t figure out
So I sit in the dark
And I don’t ask for help
I don’t see any closure
To this poem
So now I will close
Full of exposure
5/20/09
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Written The Same
All of these emotions
Fill my mind
I want to rid them
For all time
Happy thoughts
Turn to pain
Tears of sorrow
Always call my name
It rolls downhill
Never anything up
All contents are spilled
From beneath the cup
Sometimes I think
I write the same thing
Over and over
Just like it begins
Am I set free?
Or locked up inside?
I feel emotion controlling
All that goes by
Is this right?
Or is this wrong?
I can’t figure out
The meaning to this song
So I write
The same thing over
Maybe this time
It’ll be when I’m sober
05/17/09
Fill my mind
I want to rid them
For all time
Happy thoughts
Turn to pain
Tears of sorrow
Always call my name
It rolls downhill
Never anything up
All contents are spilled
From beneath the cup
Sometimes I think
I write the same thing
Over and over
Just like it begins
Am I set free?
Or locked up inside?
I feel emotion controlling
All that goes by
Is this right?
Or is this wrong?
I can’t figure out
The meaning to this song
So I write
The same thing over
Maybe this time
It’ll be when I’m sober
05/17/09
This Poem Has No Title
Do I grieve too much?
Do I grieve not enough?
Should I try to forget?
It feels really selfish
I go on my way
I think nothing has happened
To me it’s the same
Day in and day out
It hasn’t become reality
What does it matter?
Who is to care?
No one can hear my thoughts anyway
I ramble on
I cry inside
Yet no one can see me
I enter HIS place
Everyone smiles
This makes me want to smile
Familiar faces
So happy to see
Yet I am not happy at all
Now I feel guilty
Because I didn’t show
Do I have to look sad too?
I get a hug
From people I hardly know
But that’s why it’s God’s family
People so friendly
His death seems to be gone
Just as I leave it hits me
A movie I see
Take away the pain it does
Then I step back to before
I wrote a letter
Opened it back up
I tried to read the contents
I failed it once
And I failed it twice
That’s when I lost it
I thought of her
So I sent it again
Then felt signs of regret
It seems strange to me
I want her to know
But then again I want no one to know
God said she liked me
But that she was young
I guess I took too much action
My thoughts are strange
As I’m sad about him
Thinking of her gets me through
With such a great loss
I should only think him
But when tears are dry there are no thoughts
It was his son
Now it’s my brother
God must have a purpose
Tears in heaven
The only song my guitar sings
I think Eric knows a bit of my pain
I wish my mind could believe
Instead of just my heart
I hate feeling these things without thoughts
If I go
I won’t have to sit here
But I'll leave everyone else behind
It’s a win-win situation
At least for him
Beat the cancer or go home
But these are my thoughts
And these are my dreams
I can’t even begin to share my feelings
This poem has no title
Because it is the truth
Titles only cover up what you don’t want to say
I feel that I have done something wrong
But then I think that it’s right
Even I confuse myself in times like this
I miss him so
And yet she doesn’t know
That she taking away my pain
But he had to go
This I know is for sure
I wish I knew why
The only man to react
Is a man who doesn’t know
Everyone else just says they’re sorry
I tend to get lost
When I have no title
That’s why it’s the truth
05/18/09
Do I grieve not enough?
Should I try to forget?
It feels really selfish
I go on my way
I think nothing has happened
To me it’s the same
Day in and day out
It hasn’t become reality
What does it matter?
Who is to care?
No one can hear my thoughts anyway
I ramble on
I cry inside
Yet no one can see me
I enter HIS place
Everyone smiles
This makes me want to smile
Familiar faces
So happy to see
Yet I am not happy at all
Now I feel guilty
Because I didn’t show
Do I have to look sad too?
I get a hug
From people I hardly know
But that’s why it’s God’s family
People so friendly
His death seems to be gone
Just as I leave it hits me
A movie I see
Take away the pain it does
Then I step back to before
I wrote a letter
Opened it back up
I tried to read the contents
I failed it once
And I failed it twice
That’s when I lost it
I thought of her
So I sent it again
Then felt signs of regret
It seems strange to me
I want her to know
But then again I want no one to know
God said she liked me
But that she was young
I guess I took too much action
My thoughts are strange
As I’m sad about him
Thinking of her gets me through
With such a great loss
I should only think him
But when tears are dry there are no thoughts
It was his son
Now it’s my brother
God must have a purpose
Tears in heaven
The only song my guitar sings
I think Eric knows a bit of my pain
I wish my mind could believe
Instead of just my heart
I hate feeling these things without thoughts
If I go
I won’t have to sit here
But I'll leave everyone else behind
It’s a win-win situation
At least for him
Beat the cancer or go home
But these are my thoughts
And these are my dreams
I can’t even begin to share my feelings
This poem has no title
Because it is the truth
Titles only cover up what you don’t want to say
I feel that I have done something wrong
But then I think that it’s right
Even I confuse myself in times like this
I miss him so
And yet she doesn’t know
That she taking away my pain
But he had to go
This I know is for sure
I wish I knew why
The only man to react
Is a man who doesn’t know
Everyone else just says they’re sorry
I tend to get lost
When I have no title
That’s why it’s the truth
05/18/09
Goodbye
Why is reality?
What does it hurt?
Can I escape?
This doesn’t work
I don’t want to believe
Sometimes it’s hard
An unending truth
I’ve come so far
I hate this part
The book is over
Can’t turn back the pages
Can’t look over my shoulder
In one weeks time
This will set in
As reality leaves
And darkness begins
I shouldn’t stay
And you shouldn’t go
But if you must
Then you should know
Remember I will
Forget I will not
I miss you today
That will never stop
05/16/09
What does it hurt?
Can I escape?
This doesn’t work
I don’t want to believe
Sometimes it’s hard
An unending truth
I’ve come so far
I hate this part
The book is over
Can’t turn back the pages
Can’t look over my shoulder
In one weeks time
This will set in
As reality leaves
And darkness begins
I shouldn’t stay
And you shouldn’t go
But if you must
Then you should know
Remember I will
Forget I will not
I miss you today
That will never stop
05/16/09
If Roses Are For You
The rose pedal fell
I wrote you to pray
But it was too late
So I try to think of our call
I think of the invite
My mind is eased
But only for while
As time goes by
The songs are sung
Most of them sad
So I begin to cry
I think in my mind
Those times of joy
I miss him so
But it’s hardly sunk in
I finally see you
My spirit is uplifted
Sparkly and shiny
You bring a smile to my face
When I run into a friend
I tell him I’m fine
Even though I’m hurt deep inside
When we meet
A hug is surprise
But I enjoy it
Because it’s from you
My mind is clear but my heart is not
Your eyes tell a story
That mine eyes cannot
I wish that right now
I could hug you again
Just because I like it
I’ve got no one to hug
And tears stream down my face
I swear I would feel better
If you were here with me
But he is still gone
It seems like forever
When I first saw you
I thought nothing at all
Now I think about you often
You have brought me so much
So much that he’ll never see
It’s funny that I smile
But life’s just that way
You win and you loose
Sometime we should talk
Before it gets too late
I’m still really sad
But you’re special to me
A connection is felt
Even after one went away
If all I have is one goodbye
Then goodbye is what I’ll say
But it’s really hard to process
Even though he’s gone home
And I know he’s safe and sound…
I’m at a loss for words
So I think I will end
Maybe I can wipe the tears just one last time
I stare at my wall
I want to write but I can’t
I want to scream but I won’t
I hold it in but I shouldn’t
Maybe poetry helps
05/15/09
I wrote you to pray
But it was too late
So I try to think of our call
I think of the invite
My mind is eased
But only for while
As time goes by
The songs are sung
Most of them sad
So I begin to cry
I think in my mind
Those times of joy
I miss him so
But it’s hardly sunk in
I finally see you
My spirit is uplifted
Sparkly and shiny
You bring a smile to my face
When I run into a friend
I tell him I’m fine
Even though I’m hurt deep inside
When we meet
A hug is surprise
But I enjoy it
Because it’s from you
My mind is clear but my heart is not
Your eyes tell a story
That mine eyes cannot
I wish that right now
I could hug you again
Just because I like it
I’ve got no one to hug
And tears stream down my face
I swear I would feel better
If you were here with me
But he is still gone
It seems like forever
When I first saw you
I thought nothing at all
Now I think about you often
You have brought me so much
So much that he’ll never see
It’s funny that I smile
But life’s just that way
You win and you loose
Sometime we should talk
Before it gets too late
I’m still really sad
But you’re special to me
A connection is felt
Even after one went away
If all I have is one goodbye
Then goodbye is what I’ll say
But it’s really hard to process
Even though he’s gone home
And I know he’s safe and sound…
I’m at a loss for words
So I think I will end
Maybe I can wipe the tears just one last time
I stare at my wall
I want to write but I can’t
I want to scream but I won’t
I hold it in but I shouldn’t
Maybe poetry helps
05/15/09
…EFGHIKLMNOP…
You will find this letter
Not once on this page
For it has been erased
From existence
For all time
Some people say
It will come back
This letter is gone
I sit and wait
For a miracle to happen
Emotions to me
Mean more than they can
The words I won’t let describe
These terrible things
Buried deep in me
Yet a smile you’ll see
From him and from me
I won’t let you down
I’ll put up a fight
Please don’t give in
The sun set will rise
The sun rise will set
The day will begin
After every other one ends
Thanks…
05/03/09
Not once on this page
For it has been erased
From existence
For all time
Some people say
It will come back
This letter is gone
I sit and wait
For a miracle to happen
Emotions to me
Mean more than they can
The words I won’t let describe
These terrible things
Buried deep in me
Yet a smile you’ll see
From him and from me
I won’t let you down
I’ll put up a fight
Please don’t give in
The sun set will rise
The sun rise will set
The day will begin
After every other one ends
Thanks…
05/03/09
Virus
I feel sick inside
Virus infected
There is not a cure
That I have injected
These pictures I see
Written in my mind
I’ve always wanted to write about this
But never found the time
Maybe it was me
I never knew what to say
I guess I’ll never know
Then again, maybe today
I knew this was different
I saw your face
I wanted to stop
But I chose not to embrace
I ripped the pictures
Tore them in half
Sometimes these things
Just keep coming back
Images of evil
The things they enjoy
What’s wrong with the world?
A world they destroy
I know in my heart
The word there is hidden
It keeps me strong
Unless it’s forbidden
Years ago
I fought this battle
I just gave in
I tossed in the rattle
Now I stand
On one broken leg
A leg that I broke
Because I didn’t beg
With His help I will come
These things they will go
My greatness fulfilled
How much no one knows
I now see
The wonders in life
How could I have survived
This dreadful flight
The things that they do
I know it is me
I add to the fire
God help me please
I ask you to pray
Keep my heart pure
My mind always clean
And His word always near
04/28/09
Virus infected
There is not a cure
That I have injected
These pictures I see
Written in my mind
I’ve always wanted to write about this
But never found the time
Maybe it was me
I never knew what to say
I guess I’ll never know
Then again, maybe today
I knew this was different
I saw your face
I wanted to stop
But I chose not to embrace
I ripped the pictures
Tore them in half
Sometimes these things
Just keep coming back
Images of evil
The things they enjoy
What’s wrong with the world?
A world they destroy
I know in my heart
The word there is hidden
It keeps me strong
Unless it’s forbidden
Years ago
I fought this battle
I just gave in
I tossed in the rattle
Now I stand
On one broken leg
A leg that I broke
Because I didn’t beg
With His help I will come
These things they will go
My greatness fulfilled
How much no one knows
I now see
The wonders in life
How could I have survived
This dreadful flight
The things that they do
I know it is me
I add to the fire
God help me please
I ask you to pray
Keep my heart pure
My mind always clean
And His word always near
04/28/09
From Ground Up
Bursts of laughter
Bursts of tears
It’s strange in a world
Where you know no fears
Tiny hands
Tiny feet
Tiny everything
That you meet
A smile so big
A smile so wide
You’re just a bundle
Of joy vs. pride
On hands and knees
Staring at the ground
Standing to your feet
You’re roaming around
Growing up
Soon you’ll be
As big if not bigger
Than someone like me
4/11/09
Bursts of tears
It’s strange in a world
Where you know no fears
Tiny hands
Tiny feet
Tiny everything
That you meet
A smile so big
A smile so wide
You’re just a bundle
Of joy vs. pride
On hands and knees
Staring at the ground
Standing to your feet
You’re roaming around
Growing up
Soon you’ll be
As big if not bigger
Than someone like me
4/11/09
Missing Poetry
She was seventeen
He was twenty-six
Now I have to wonder
What will they miss?
I can’t stop but think
Why must this be?
Are we that selfish?
Cannot we spare someone in need?
One got a way
And one they have found
But the other two
Why are they still bound?
The water washed away
All that remains
Sink to the bottom
I don’t want to explain
Three in total
This makes me sick
I wish I could be God
I would fix all of this
If I were He
I would take away
All the pain and the sorrow
You won’t go astray
I’d be a bad god
For I hate when we suffer
I would make life so easy
Would you even bother?
For now I sit back
Help all that I can
Every day I wonder
When will this happen again?
04/10/09
He was twenty-six
Now I have to wonder
What will they miss?
I can’t stop but think
Why must this be?
Are we that selfish?
Cannot we spare someone in need?
One got a way
And one they have found
But the other two
Why are they still bound?
The water washed away
All that remains
Sink to the bottom
I don’t want to explain
Three in total
This makes me sick
I wish I could be God
I would fix all of this
If I were He
I would take away
All the pain and the sorrow
You won’t go astray
I’d be a bad god
For I hate when we suffer
I would make life so easy
Would you even bother?
For now I sit back
Help all that I can
Every day I wonder
When will this happen again?
04/10/09
Scratch Paper
Words of profanity
Words of despair
Writings from my mind
Who is to care?
Places for rhyme
Places for reason
Thoughts written down
Where are the seasons?
I feel sick inside
On paper I scribble
My pen runs dry
I’m stuck in the middle
Words become hope
Shouts out for help
Screams in the dark
Brightness is felt
Emotions are hard
Feelings are soft
Words are just words
Until they hit the spot
Fear is let in
Anger is out
Happiness is shown
There is no doubt
When the paper is finished
There is no free space
I used it all up
To start in a new place
04/10/09
Words of despair
Writings from my mind
Who is to care?
Places for rhyme
Places for reason
Thoughts written down
Where are the seasons?
I feel sick inside
On paper I scribble
My pen runs dry
I’m stuck in the middle
Words become hope
Shouts out for help
Screams in the dark
Brightness is felt
Emotions are hard
Feelings are soft
Words are just words
Until they hit the spot
Fear is let in
Anger is out
Happiness is shown
There is no doubt
When the paper is finished
There is no free space
I used it all up
To start in a new place
04/10/09
Stuck In A Bottle
How long has it been?
How long will it be?
Do you remember?
Think back when you were three
Soon you were six
Then you were nine
After a while
When is it my time?
You grew up so fast
I don’t recognize
Where has time gone?
I feel hypnotized
Floating in the sea
Troubles are lost
Stuck in a bottle
A bottle you tossed
I opened it up
It all flew out
I now understand
What it’s all about
Sometimes I miss
The fun we had
Then I realize
For time those times I’m glad
I suppose if you read this
Then you’ll know
The things that I’ve said
My memories will never go
04/10/09
How long will it be?
Do you remember?
Think back when you were three
Soon you were six
Then you were nine
After a while
When is it my time?
You grew up so fast
I don’t recognize
Where has time gone?
I feel hypnotized
Floating in the sea
Troubles are lost
Stuck in a bottle
A bottle you tossed
I opened it up
It all flew out
I now understand
What it’s all about
Sometimes I miss
The fun we had
Then I realize
For time those times I’m glad
I suppose if you read this
Then you’ll know
The things that I’ve said
My memories will never go
04/10/09
Hope Is But A Dream
The blade cuts the ice
Sharp as it is
Could it pierce my life?
Is this destiny
Is this fate
Let me know
Before my mistakes
How long will I live?
How long will I die?
Only you
Keep me alive
Let me go
Take me in
Just don’t leave me
Here again
Love is a word
Beauty is deep
My mind is so full
I cannot sleep
Thinking of you
I see your face
I would do anything
I would take your place
Do I make this clear?
A chance for Hope
If I step in
Will you let go of the rope?
The apology is mine
I have been gone for so long
Would you care of my past?
I have not but one song
I must end my words
So that it is clear
Close to my heart
You are always near
If you so choose
There I will be
To give you my life
When you are in need
04/09/09
Sharp as it is
Could it pierce my life?
Is this destiny
Is this fate
Let me know
Before my mistakes
How long will I live?
How long will I die?
Only you
Keep me alive
Let me go
Take me in
Just don’t leave me
Here again
Love is a word
Beauty is deep
My mind is so full
I cannot sleep
Thinking of you
I see your face
I would do anything
I would take your place
Do I make this clear?
A chance for Hope
If I step in
Will you let go of the rope?
The apology is mine
I have been gone for so long
Would you care of my past?
I have not but one song
I must end my words
So that it is clear
Close to my heart
You are always near
If you so choose
There I will be
To give you my life
When you are in need
04/09/09
Take Me Home
Sometimes I wonder
How much will this hurt?
Is it enough to pierce the skin?
Will it make it worse?
If I die
Will you die with me?
Hold me till the end
Is it enough to save a lost soul?
Death is but a thing
So why can’t I wait?
Can you out it off?
Please don’t expose my fate
Inside I’m hurt
Torn apart
All needles to dull
To mend my broken heart
Why was it me?
Why was it them?
You couldn’t wait
Don’t let this happen again
Life is a game
Chances with dice
How can I escape
This unending fight
In my corner
Is where I cry
Warnings to me
Are just more lies
What are you saying?
Should I care?
Is this apart of you plan?
Do I even dare?
So empty inside
All the scars remind
Of the past that was left
So far behind
Please take my hand
So we can cross the street
Lead me home
There I will sleep
03/19/09
How much will this hurt?
Is it enough to pierce the skin?
Will it make it worse?
If I die
Will you die with me?
Hold me till the end
Is it enough to save a lost soul?
Death is but a thing
So why can’t I wait?
Can you out it off?
Please don’t expose my fate
Inside I’m hurt
Torn apart
All needles to dull
To mend my broken heart
Why was it me?
Why was it them?
You couldn’t wait
Don’t let this happen again
Life is a game
Chances with dice
How can I escape
This unending fight
In my corner
Is where I cry
Warnings to me
Are just more lies
What are you saying?
Should I care?
Is this apart of you plan?
Do I even dare?
So empty inside
All the scars remind
Of the past that was left
So far behind
Please take my hand
So we can cross the street
Lead me home
There I will sleep
03/19/09
Guardian Angel (The unfinished poem)
You’re just a little girl
So perfect with all of your mistakes
Caught up with the scars inside you
Expecting everything to break
Blood drips from your wrists
The knife falls from your fingertips
A tear drops from you face
Wishing that you could embrace
Rest your head against my shoulder
I’ll hold you tightly ‘till it’s over
Wipe the tears from your eyes
Promise me no more lies
You were a passerby
Now you try to fly
Leaves fall from the trees
Hands are searching
Arms are outstretched
You tried to kill me
When I only saved you
Take my hand I give it to you
After all the pain you’ve been through
Digging deeper into me
Your fading eyes are all I see
Sometimes
I wish that I could go back
And change tine
And maybe we could go back
And you
Feel a little empty
But who knew
That it would come to this…
01/14/09
So perfect with all of your mistakes
Caught up with the scars inside you
Expecting everything to break
Blood drips from your wrists
The knife falls from your fingertips
A tear drops from you face
Wishing that you could embrace
Rest your head against my shoulder
I’ll hold you tightly ‘till it’s over
Wipe the tears from your eyes
Promise me no more lies
You were a passerby
Now you try to fly
Leaves fall from the trees
Hands are searching
Arms are outstretched
You tried to kill me
When I only saved you
Take my hand I give it to you
After all the pain you’ve been through
Digging deeper into me
Your fading eyes are all I see
Sometimes
I wish that I could go back
And change tine
And maybe we could go back
And you
Feel a little empty
But who knew
That it would come to this…
01/14/09
Running Away
Inside I’m screaming
You never wake me
You just take the pain
Always meant for me
You beat on yourself
Taking it all the way
Pulling it back
You don’t see
You fall down
Like everything’s fine
You don’t have to deal
With this anymore
Skin so dark
Eyes wide shut
You’re contradicting
Everything you said
It all turns black
Feeling so empty
Crying now
It won’t help
You’re in too deep
You’re lying down
Covered now
You look your best
11/20/05
You never wake me
You just take the pain
Always meant for me
You beat on yourself
Taking it all the way
Pulling it back
You don’t see
You fall down
Like everything’s fine
You don’t have to deal
With this anymore
Skin so dark
Eyes wide shut
You’re contradicting
Everything you said
It all turns black
Feeling so empty
Crying now
It won’t help
You’re in too deep
You’re lying down
Covered now
You look your best
11/20/05
Innocent
I’m innocent
Whatever I did
I didn’t do it
I’m as innocent as those who lead gangs
I’m innocent
I’m as innocent as those who rob banks
I’m innocent
I’m as innocent as those guilty of murder
I’m innocent
I’m as innocent as those who make war
I’m innocent
I’m as innocent as those who drop bombs
I’m innocent
I’m as innocent as those who destroy innocent lives
I’m innocent
I’m as innocent as those innocent of everything they’ve ever done
I’m innocent
The only difference is...
I pled guilty
10/14/03
Whatever I did
I didn’t do it
I’m as innocent as those who lead gangs
I’m innocent
I’m as innocent as those who rob banks
I’m innocent
I’m as innocent as those guilty of murder
I’m innocent
I’m as innocent as those who make war
I’m innocent
I’m as innocent as those who drop bombs
I’m innocent
I’m as innocent as those who destroy innocent lives
I’m innocent
I’m as innocent as those innocent of everything they’ve ever done
I’m innocent
The only difference is...
I pled guilty
10/14/03
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